On Words

Oh my goodness.
So, it's that weird post Christmas pre New Years time of the year, where the only things that seem like reasonable ways to spend your time involve eating, reading, and talking to people over MSN, as though that is an acceptable substitute for real conversation and human interaction.
On the bright side, I'm working my way through some brilliant books.
I've spent a lot of time just thinking the past few days. Just about everything. The less sensical bits have gone into the book, and the more sensical ones (is sensical a word?) go here.
Lately, I find myself in situations where words simply fail. Where I am unable, for whatever reason, to come up with words adequately communicate.
Sometimes, it's because I'm so angry, that it's simply impossible to string words together. I seem to be a very angry person here; often beyond the point of words, into the realm of tears. I don't particularly enjoy feeling angry, nor do I consider myself to be angry by nature. But I simply cannot help but be angry here, about very nearly everything. (I swear, if my parents make one more fat comment, I will lose it.) Granted, there are those people, places and events here that I can appreciate and enjoy, but for the most part, things here just upset me like nothing else can.
Other times, I can't use my words because I can't find them. I get so tongue tied, so flabbergasted if you will, that it's like my brain throws it's hands up (I realise that brains do not have hands. But if it did, this is the point at which mine would throw them up) and says "I quit. You figure this out". This leaves me looking a bit like a startled goldfish, all wide eyed, with my mouth open, ready to say something, anything. And usually in these situations, when I do say something, it's completely ridiculous and out of context. (What is up with those squirrels)
The third situation in which words often fail me (more often lately than I would like to admit) is when I simply cannot think of the right words. Because in these instances, no matter which words I choose, some one will be upset. Where no matter who is on the recieving end, no matter how embellished, polished, carefully chosen or rehearsed my words are, the meaning they carry is still the same. And that meaning has all the potential in the world to make someone's day miserable.
On the other hand, I suppose that words can also make someone's day equally enjoyable. I guess the point of all this nonsense is that words have power (Thank you Mrs. Rarick, my 2nd grade teacher) and that mine have temporarily left the building.
If you see them, tell them I miss them.