Blog L'orange?

Oh my goodness makeover.
I'm back on the internet, after an accidental hiatus.
Which is to say that life became this all consuming thing, preventing me from blogging.
However, the orange book is very nearly full, which the orange blog now reflects.
Leaving out all of that "what I've done in the interim" crap, (finished first year, moved to a new city, worked a bunch of different jobs)is probably a good idea.
Right now, I'm making a pie. My first ever pie, a peach one.
It's going well, I think, though I turn behind me to check it in the oven every five minutes or so.
And knitting, I have about a thousand projects on the go.
One crochet string bag, squares for a communal blanket, a blanket of my own, a crochet purse, a scarf and a pair of mittens. But I'm on a self-imposed yarn diet, so hopefully I'll work through all of these before starting more.
Just checked the pie again. It's looking good, a little bit longer and it will be done. This pie is just a test - the real pie happens around Thursday for the boyfriend's birthday. Part of me enjoys this new foray into pie - for while I will not be awarded a blue ribbon any time soon, I don't think it's half bad - while the other part of me half wishes he could like a desert that is a)not so difficult and 2) less time consuming.
I should sleep, now that the pie is done. First aid in the morning, and I have to be up at an unholy time.

So this is the new year...

Well, not yet.
In seven minutes it will be. Am I a big loser for sitting on my basement floor, alone in my house on New Year's Eve writing this? Probably. But I don't care.
I did celebrate. With my friends in our own way. And it was great, we had an excellent time. Excellent.
And now I'm thinking about all of the different ways people celebrate the New Year, and why.
Most people celebrate of course by getting drunk. Their first thoughts of the New Year are fuzzy around the edges, radiating with alcohol induced warmth. The degree of fuzziness and warmth may vary of course, but they're there.
There's very often friends and family involved, I guess it's best to bring in the New Year with those you're closest to.
I know a few people who are just in it for that elusive New Year's kiss.
At work I marked the New Year by writing down all of the times in 2008 when things will expire. It's a super tedious job, but it gave me a lot of time to think about everything that's happened this year.
A year is 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months and four seasons. On paper it doesn't seem like a long time. And while you're living it, it takes forever. But in retrospect, it flies by, and while it does, everything happens. This last year I graduated high school, moved away from my home, my friends and my family. I started school, broke off the longest relationship I've ever had, and got to know some of the most amazing people I will ever meet. Exactly one year ago today my life was completely different, and I think I'm okay with that now.
As for why people celebrate, well, that was easy. With the exception of having an excuse to party, I think the reason (at least, it seems to me) is pretty clear. We all want new beginnings. We want a chance to start over - to right all of the past year's wrongs and try our best to keep from screwing up this time. No one actually says this out loud, but they don't have to. It's all in the New Year's resolution. What better time is there to start doing something than the start of a brand new year.
Every year, I say I won't make resolutions, but I do. I'm terrible at keeping them - most people are - but I do it anyways. I always make about a billion of them, and they're usually pretty silly. Like this years.
This year, I resolve to:
Watch the sunrise more often
Talk less, listen more
Spend less time waiting for the future, and more time living in the moment
Not worry so much. (That'll happen.)
Work on the sarcasm (See above)
Find more enchanted places
Cultivate my imagination.
Write more, write lots, write everywhere.
Love people for who they really are.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg. This all took up about 6 or 7 pages of journal. I've got a whole bunch of them, and I'll try my hardest to keep every one, but I know somewhere along the line some of them will be forgotten.
In the time it's taken me to write this, the year has changed. And my first actions of 2008? Crying for no reason. I hope that's not indicative of how my year will go. It just felt like the thing to do.

On Words

Oh my goodness.
So, it's that weird post Christmas pre New Years time of the year, where the only things that seem like reasonable ways to spend your time involve eating, reading, and talking to people over MSN, as though that is an acceptable substitute for real conversation and human interaction.
On the bright side, I'm working my way through some brilliant books.
I've spent a lot of time just thinking the past few days. Just about everything. The less sensical bits have gone into the book, and the more sensical ones (is sensical a word?) go here.
Lately, I find myself in situations where words simply fail. Where I am unable, for whatever reason, to come up with words adequately communicate.
Sometimes, it's because I'm so angry, that it's simply impossible to string words together. I seem to be a very angry person here; often beyond the point of words, into the realm of tears. I don't particularly enjoy feeling angry, nor do I consider myself to be angry by nature. But I simply cannot help but be angry here, about very nearly everything. (I swear, if my parents make one more fat comment, I will lose it.) Granted, there are those people, places and events here that I can appreciate and enjoy, but for the most part, things here just upset me like nothing else can.
Other times, I can't use my words because I can't find them. I get so tongue tied, so flabbergasted if you will, that it's like my brain throws it's hands up (I realise that brains do not have hands. But if it did, this is the point at which mine would throw them up) and says "I quit. You figure this out". This leaves me looking a bit like a startled goldfish, all wide eyed, with my mouth open, ready to say something, anything. And usually in these situations, when I do say something, it's completely ridiculous and out of context. (What is up with those squirrels)
The third situation in which words often fail me (more often lately than I would like to admit) is when I simply cannot think of the right words. Because in these instances, no matter which words I choose, some one will be upset. Where no matter who is on the recieving end, no matter how embellished, polished, carefully chosen or rehearsed my words are, the meaning they carry is still the same. And that meaning has all the potential in the world to make someone's day miserable.
On the other hand, I suppose that words can also make someone's day equally enjoyable. I guess the point of all this nonsense is that words have power (Thank you Mrs. Rarick, my 2nd grade teacher) and that mine have temporarily left the building.
If you see them, tell them I miss them.